Month 11 Day 29: Let's get this BLOG caught up already!!!

Intro:

It's been a while since I've been on here to blog. Maybe we have been having too much fun & I've just forgot. Maybe I've been lazy, and maybe there just hasn't been too much to talk about!!

Month 8-9:

We took Giselle to Busch Gardens for the first time! We had VIP passes for the new Cheetah ride and although she could only watch, we think she had a good time. Tons of dancers, and animals to look at. This first picture is a recreation of a picture I took as a child in the same spot. I hope to find it one day and post them side by side!

And here is her and daddy!!

Month 10:

Month 10 was a huge month for us! Giselle started sitting up on her own without falling over!!
  She started in month 9 but she would fall, it took about 4 weeks to get it right and she did! She would first hold herself up with her hands like this:

 

And then she moved onto this!!!

YAY BIG GIRL!!


Another first for her in month 10 was her first spaghetti. Now, we have decided to go gluten-free with Giselle (which I will make a whole seperate post with info on that) but for now, here is her first spaghetti night!

 

Lols. Silly baby. But she loved it! Too be honest, she likes any and every food we put in her mouth, except green beans.

And since she was able to sit, we got to get rid of the little bath sling and she got to do bathtime like a big girl!!

Look at that soap mohawk!! hahahaha


Therapies:
Giselle went in on June 28th, 2011 to get evaluated for Speech, Occupational, and Physical therapies. She was deemed on track but we still are going to go once a week. So far we have only done the Occupational therapy (OT). And honestly, I think it's stupid. For us at least. I'm literally watching the woman PLAY with her the same way we play at home, with the same toys, and the same games.  Also, Giselle seems to hate this woman haha. She never cries in resteraunts, she never cries when people hold her and I'm still around, but she either doesn't like this woman, or the place we are going. We shall see what happens when she starts her Physical Therapy in two weeks. But honestly, I may cancel the OT. It seems like a waste of time.

Month 11: Her first July 4th we spent in Palm Coast with the grandparents!  We went to a little festival and we saw an older woman with Down Syndrome. She was so petite I almost mistook her for the woman next to her's daughter.  Sometimes when you are still in the baby stage, you live in a false reality because they seem so much more like other babies, and its when you see the older people with Down Syndrome that really remind you that she is different looking, but not necessarily different all the way. This woman was just going around to the little tents and checking out the merchandise just like everyone else, enjoying the ocean breeze, and hanging out with her family. How is that different? :)

  Here is Giselle and my mother for a little impromptu July 4th shoot.

 

My Other Daughter: 

On a more personal note, a few weeks ago I fell in LOVE with a little girl on Reece's Rainbow.  Now if you haven't been to this site, it's children for adoption with Special Needs (mostly in Eastern Europe).  I've seen TONS AND TONS of kids on there and felt sorry for them, and sad for them. But this little girl did more than pull on my heart strings. I fell in love with her. Her name on there is Teri Lynn. She was born in 2005 in December, she is a Sagittarius like me! My husband says she sort of resembles Giselle.  Anywho, she got transferred to an institution and I just lost it. I've been crying for the last week straight everyday at least once thinking about this girl. It's just so personal for me and I never thought you could fall in love like that over someone you've never even met. It's the weirdest thing. The first time I saw her picture, someone had written above her picture "Are you her mommy?" and my first response was a tear full "Yes!"  It's been really rough for me and I'm so thankful for my close friends that have been here and understand and don't treat me like I'm a nut job or something.  They've helped me through this and it just shows that fate doesn't screw up.

She has close to 20k up for her adoption and I've heard rumors there are a few families interested in her and all I can do is hope that someone can pull through for her.  It's just not possible at this time for Matt and I to add her to our family, but I know I would sleep much better knowing she is in someone's loving arms.

So that about gets us all caught up! Giselle's first birthday is next week and I'm sure I will blog about her ROXY surfer girl themed party!!

Month 7 Day 0: Heart Surgery Day

I don't even know where to begin with catching up on this blog. Let's start with heart surgery.

Open Heart Surgery Feb. 28th, 2011

Giselle was exactly 7 months old the day of her surgery. I remember waking up feeling nothing less than as if I were handing her over to Death himself that day. After having hardly a wink of sleep, we got to the hospital at about 6:45 am. No one was even there. The lobby was dark, cold, and unwelcoming. About 30 minutes of sitting, waiting, and hardly speaking to each other, my husband and I see the receptionist coming in and turning the lights on. They checked us in, took her vitals, put her in a gown, and had us waiting again in record time. It all felt like a blur. Soon we were in a separate waiting room talking with the heart surgeon. We never even met the man before today. He told us what was going to happen, and when we should expect a nurse to come upstairs to update us. We had a separate waiting room to wait in near the NICU and depending on how she did, depended on how soon we could see her after surgery. At least, I think this is the jist of what he was saying. My eyes may have been looking in his direction, but my mind was on Giselle.

All I thought about was her. All I could remember is when we first found out that Giselle might have Down Syndrome, at 13 weeks along in the pregnancy. I took a shower after crying for about an hour and fell to my knees. And I prayed. I'm not what you would call a religious person, but I prayed right then and there in that shower. I said, "God, if you give me a healthy baby, a normal baby, I promise she will know your name. I promise to take her to church and teach her all about your ways. I may not be a devote follower, or even a small one at that, but she will. Please, if you do this for me, I will make sure she knows God."

And here I was, 24 years old, holding my baby with Down Syndrome and a large VSD in her heart. "F$@# you God", I kept thinking to myself. "F$@# you for doing this to a helpless baby. Why should I pray to YOU that she will be safe in this surgery. Why should I even bother?? You're not there, you don't care about us. This was all a fluke and you had nothing to do with it." Instead of praying in my moment of weakness like I had before, I leaned over and whispered into Giselle's ear, "You come back to me little Princess, Mommy loves you so much and I need you..." And just like that the nurse took her from my arms. It was exactly like a scene in a movie. The double doors burst open in slow motion to about 7 other nurses, Giselle looking over the nurse's shoulder back at us with that look in her eyes like "Mommy, where are you going?" From the moment they took her I cried, I cried like a baby. I couldn't tell you if Matt was crying but he was holding me.

Once the doors shut I just leaned against the wall in the hallway trying to collect myself before walking out into the lobby to see my family. After a few moments and a couple of short steps, I was back out, in my own mother's arms, crying all over again.

I thought those 6 hours of surgery would crawl by, but after a few short visits from the nurse here and there telling us she was on bypass, she was being opened, she was being closed, and a small surprise visit to tell us they closed two other holes, we were only minutes away from seeing our baby.  She came up from surgery without the help of breathing tubes, and looked like she was very drugged up.  And after a couple nights of awful sleep on the pull out chair/bed, a few minor heart attacks from me when Giselle would pull on the cords going into her neck and legs, and after only 72 hours, we were on our way home.  Even though the experience for us went as well as it possibly could, it was still the scariest, and hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life.  I'm not here to sugar coat it for you if you're about to go through the same ordeal. But WE SURVIVED. And we have a baby that is catching up in weight and milestones now.  And although her scar is fading, the events and moments during those 72 hours will be with me forever. But guess what people? That's a price I'm willing to pay.